When I'm with You
by Acerbus Angelus
Summary: The aftermath of Betrothed (spoilers) Starfire's feeling down and Robin doesn't know what to do. Fluff n' Angst n' stuff. R n'R. rated for future seens
1. Default Chapter

_Hope you like it, just my interpretation of the aftermath of 'Betrothed'_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Michelle Branch, or Snowpatrol (who ROCK!!!)_

"**Cause you're everything to me**

**And when I close my eyes it's you I see.**

**You're everything I know that makes me believe**

**I'm not alone...**

**I'm not alone."**

Starfire sat at the edge of Titan Tower's rooftop. Her strangely green eyes focused unseeingly on the shimmering stars up above her. She sat, hugging her legs to her chest, letting her mind wonder to the still burning moments of the night before.

She had been to her home planet, Tamran. It would have been a joyous occasion- under different circumstances. The betrothal had come as a shock to both her and the Titans. She should have been expecting it, it was, after all, custom. However she had not. For she had- against all previous musings- fallen in love. And what's more, with someone she _**could not have**_.

It had been a mistake, something she had not accounted for in her life long planning's of her journey to Earth. It was customary for each of the royal family to live one Tamaranian year on another planet. Starfire had chosen Earth at a young age, it had intrigued her from the start. A mass of blue, white, and green all swirled together full of mystery and excitement. She had been elated to join the Titans, and was now rethinking that decision. If she had not joined the Titans, had not met Robin, had not taken notice to the feeling she had when ever his eyes locked with hers, had not become breathlessly aware of the way her heart seemed to pound when his finger tips brushed her arm in a strange sort of comforting motion that he had perfected. If only she had not come to melt because of his smile. Perhaps then she could have stayed in Tamran where she belonged instead of returning to a world that held nothing for her but the terrible ache of unrequited love.

But she had not. She had decided to stay despite what every fiber of her being told her. She had stayed, and for that she would be forced to return each night to the rooftop where she could finally release her feelings of anxiety in the quiet of the night...

"Starr?" It was a hesitant call, and barely above a whisper, but she heard it. "Starr, I- I just- what I wanted to say was... I'm here. And I always will be. I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything."_ I promise_ The object of her affection stepped gracefully out of the shadows walked slowly towards her.

"I know," Starfire forced a small, sad smile and stood up, taking a deep breath before tuning around. _I know you're here. And I know you just want to help_

It was then that she realized just how close he was to her. "Starr..." He trailed off lifting his hand to tip her chin towards him. Her heart raced, and for a split second- just an off beat moment- she thought he was going to kiss her. And then he pulled away, his hand dropping from her face.

She felt let down, and yet, strangely relieved that he had not kissed her. She turned away from Robin, so as not to let him see the torrent of emotions flashing across her face, and stated quietly, "I'm sorry Robin, but I am tired. Perhaps we can talk later." Starfire turned to go inside, surprised to feel a tear slide down her cheek. Hoping that Robin hadn't noticed this she gently shut the door behind her leaving Robin standing alone on the roof.

"**To think I might not see those eyes**

**Makes it so hard not to cry**

**And as we say our long good bye**

**I nearly do..."**

Robin sank against the wall behind him and ran long, pale fingers through his dark hair contemplating what he had almost done. I can't slip like that again... God, I almost- Starr doesn't need this right now. I don't need this right now!He slid to the ground sitting with one knee propped up. Half of him screamed that he had to go apologize to her, while the other half argued that he wouldn't mean it if he did. He had _**wanted**_ to kiss her. Badly. But he knew that he couldn't, his main priority was his team. What if this messed them up, made them unable to fight together or something. He couldn't let that happen.

It was settled. He would have to apologize. Now if only he could figure out what to say. He groaned and set his face in his hands in silent agony before pushing himself off the ground and opening the door with every intention of going to Starfire's room and apologizing. He could just see it now..._so sorry Starfire, but I can't stop thinking about you, my insides melt when you smile at me, and I've wanted to kiss you since I first saw you._Oh ya, that was _**sure**_ to go over well.

_Sorry it's so short!!!_

_No, it's not a one-shot. I'll write more if you want me to._

_Say... 5 reviews and I'll write another chapter._

_This is my first S/R fanfic, but I've written before. (And I'm a long time S/R shiper)_

_I would appreciate it if you didn't flame me, but I don't really care if you do. Constructive criticism is always welcome!!! If you have any tips I'd love to hear them._

_R n'R._

_Thankies_

_AcerbusAngelus_


	2. Memories

OMG!!! Thank you all sooooo much!!!! I love you my reviewers!!!!

I have never gotten that many reviews on one chapter ever!!!

I'm so sorry, I would have updated sooner, but I forgot that I had written this story ' heheh …

**"I dig my toes into the sand**

**The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across the sand**

**I lean against the wind,**

**Pretend that I am weightless**

**And in this moment I am happy**

**Happy…"**

Leaning against the wall behind her Starfire drew in a deep breath attempting to calm her emotions. She hated to be sad, despised even, and hated even more to make sadden others. It was not in her frame of mind to worried, or depressed. Sure, she had worried for others, but worrying for herself was something she rarely took part in. When she was sad every fiber of her being ached with depression. For, similar (and yet strikingly different) to Raven's powers, Starfire was ruled by emotion. Every emotion was a thousand times intensified.

Subtle pain cut like knives, depression coursed through her body in heart-wrenching waves. One moment could cause a torrent of happiness to tear madly through her, anguish destroyed her, leaving her broken and torn. Fury ripped from her and left all in its wake shaking openly with terror… love poured over her with reckless abandon. Although both fury and love were rare with Starfire both had happened, and both brought with them terrible consequences.

Love, for Robin, had hit her recently. Fury she had felt only once. A long, long time ago. Her fury in that moment had both cursed and blessed her. Cursed her with an unforgiving past, blessed her with a chance to start anew. She did not think of that fateful day often, on the contrary she had all but banished it from her head; however her excursion to her home planet had resurrected the long repressed memory that thrived in the back of her mind.

Closing her eyes tightly she fought to forget the memory that threatened to override her emotional system. Unable to hold it off any longer she took a shaky breath and allowed the grief of her past to wash over her.

It stood out vividly against her mind, each detail perfected, even after all the years of denying it's truth. It distorted her senses, brought back everything that had happened that horrific day. Suddenly she could hear the screams, feel the terror as body after body plummeted to the ground. The stench of sweat, blood, and burning flesh was everywhere, polluting the air, and causing her head to spin. Once again she felt the rage coursing through her bones.

She opened her eyes and slumped to the floor sobbing. It scared her, anger, scared her so much that she attempted to pretend that there was no such thing. She fought it _so hard_, because every time she felt it rise up inside of her it destroyed. Not just little things, like the occasional destruction of piece of furniture, but big things- _huge_- things. Lives. She hid it from everyone, and pretended to be happy all the time. Not that her happiness was in anyway fake, no, she was by nature a very happy person, however no one could possibly stay as happy as she appeared to. No one knew the truth. No one, that is, except for Raven. Raven had learned her secret when they had swapped bodies, just as she had learned Raven's. Neither of them would tell the others, and neither of them would talk about it.

Star closed her eyes once more, this time out of exhaustion. She slowly slid farther down on the floor, her strength gone for the time being, as she drifted to sleep.

…

Robin stood just outside of Starfire's room. He took a deep breath, his determination to apologize diminishing quickly. I have to… if we don't clear this up it could end up disrupting the flow of the team Robin desperately tried to convince himself that any nervous feelings he had were because of the team and slowly raised his fist to knock on the door.

The sound of the knock reverberated throughout the hall. He waited a few seconds while unconsciously rubbing the back of his neck. When he didn't hear any movement from the pretty alien's room he knocked again.

"Star?" He called softly, "Star, you there?" He ran a hand through his hair and leaned against her door. "Look, Star- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I mean I _did_ but- it wasn't supposed to… I wasn't thinking--" Taking a deep breath he started over, "What I meant to say was, I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean anything by it." God I'm a bad liar—NO!! That's the truth; it was a moment of weakness. It didn't mean _anything_

Still not hearing her respond to any of his awkward ramblings he groaned and leaned his head against the wall before turning around and placing a gloved hand on her door. He slid it open cautiously and, with one sweeping glance, took in the state of her large pink (a/n: I think ((hehe that rhymes)) ) room. Something had happened; it looked like Raven had gotten angry at it. A chair lay in a charred heap in one corner. Hundreds of tiny pieces of glass littered another along with the barely recognizable frame in which the pieces had once made a mirror.

Nervously he ran into the room, relaxing once he found Starfire. Her face was tear stained and red, her body curled tightly. Robin heard a sharp intake of breath and jerked his head back up to her face. Tears streamed down her crimson cheeks, and a tiny sob escaped from her mouth as her body shook. She tossed and turned on the ground before crying desperately, "Kak'ru!" then screaming slightly and digging her nails into Robin's arm. He winced and out of reflex grabbed her wrist. Her eyes snapped open and she whispered, "Robin…" before collapsing in his arms.

…

Sorry for the cliffy, and again I' m very sorry about how late this is. I promise the next chapter will be longer and come much faster.

Also thank you soooooo much reviewers. Say… 5 more reviews n' I'll upload the next chapter within the next 3 days.

And, of course, in recognition of the heart of the fanfic; the reviewer: I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!

AcerbusAngleus


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